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Old 01-02-2011, 05:43 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,718

Okay, so.... I'm not sure what happened here... I don't see how anyone was offensive at the onset, opinionated maybe, but then that is what we all are here. Might I suggest speaking/writing using "I" statements. Instead of saying "you aren't going to be able to achieve that," say "I haven't been able to make that work because .... my experience has been..... have you tried this?..... " It is essentially passing on the message with a delivery that comes across as more respectful.

I actually understood, I think, what olderwoman was saying. Ya, its kind of irrelevant what gender a person is in this context, but whatever....once I got past the tone in which your post was delivered... I think I got it.
Originally Posted by Olderwoman View Post
I hate to be the bringer of bad news but your expectations are impossible.

Nobody can know "all of you completely and honestly."

Being a woman myself I do understand the desire to be understood. I have always wanted to be "understood" completely. But that is just not possible. The reason is, that we don't even understand ourselves.

Also, if you are not willing to be completely honest,(for fear of hurting him) the chances of him (or anyone) knowing you completely are even more impossible.

He (your significant other) is not superman, nor is he a mindreader, nor is he an all knowing deity. He cannot know you completely.

I would say, don't set unrealistic goals for your relationship. You will never get there. Just have faith and love.
I think what you are saying is that we can't know each other entirely and the only thing we have is being honest enough to let someone in on just a bit of who we are. Close?

I am honest and have integrity... not because I talk about everything that goes on in my head, but because I mull things over, decide if I should speak, and only speak when there needs to be a change for the better for me or others. To me integrity is about being honest with myself as much as to other people. Being self aware, and doing what I say I will do. Taking the time to be sure I can do what I say and taking the time to be sure my way of expressing my honesty is respectful and going to create a better path for those I love and myself.
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