Originally Posted by Olderwoman
I hate to be the bringer of bad news but your expectations are impossible.
Nobody can know "all of you completely and honestly."
Being a woman myself I do understand the desire to be understood. I have always wanted to be "understood" completely. But that is just not possible. The reason is, that we don't even understand ourselves.
Also, if you are not willing to be completely honest,(for fear of hurting him) the chances of him (or anyone) knowing you completely are even more impossible.
He (your significant other) is not superman, nor is he a mindreader, nor is he an all knowing deity. He cannot know you completely.
your posts today take on a very superior air.
I did not say at all that I expect him to know me completely and honestly... I said I need him to... and that is where MY exploration of myself comes in.. so I may know myself in order for him to know me... It is not a thing to pull out of a bag and hand to him... it is a journey we undertake together day by day for the rest of our lives.
I am completely honest with him - try reading my other thread so you know what you are talking about... And do not even try to assume how much or how deeply my partner is capable of knowing me... he knows me better than I know myself. He sees me in ways I have yet to discover, just as I am aware of things about me he has yet to discover... and this goes both ways.
my question was dealing specifically with... at what point would anyone else out there draw the line, or even if they would...
at what point would you say to your partner "I can no longer be completely honest with you because it is hurting you too much?" For me... I don't know if I could even do such a thing...
Should I compromise who I am in order to not hurt him further... (this is unlikely to work in the long run - shoving part of myself away for the benefit of another will very likely breed resentment)Should we push through and push through... knowing we risk the possibility that maybe we can't work through it and will end up hurting each other irrepairably... or should we just not take the risk at all?
I already have the answer to these questions for myself and my partner - it is something we decide based on our motivations... I was looking for other opinions, other experiences... who knows - I might learn something, maybe there is another option...
Coming from the angle that I would lie, or otherwise be dishonest or disingenuous is counterproductive to the conversation wanted.