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Old 01-02-2011, 12:32 AM
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MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 192

Originally Posted by UntamedHottie View Post
Looked for that Poly lessons learned and couldnt find it...well I ran outta time LOL.

sighs....Im just gonna let it all slide and see how I feel....last night pissed me off though. Someone kept messaging the dam cell phone and he wouldnt tell me who it was. So Im assuming its his other girl. We were having a cat nap between our jobs we had booked. So no sleep for me.

Anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR and I am gonna make some changes for myself...not sure what as I was informed Im not allowed to see others unless I love them...tried to tell him only as a friend but not as a lover....he says NOPE you cant see them then. Oh well gotta figure out something LOL!!!!!!!!!
It sounds like you're not getting what you need out of the relationship AND he's telling you can't seek that from others.

It may be challenging, but figuring out what your needs are and communicating them compassionately seems like a useful thing to do in this situation.

You have to be willing to give up the relationship, however, if it's not or can't meet your needs. Love is not an excuse to subjugate your legitimate needs and desires to that of another. Particularly, if he's not willing acknowledge those needs and compromise as appropriate. Being willing to deal with the pain of ending a relatoinship early when it's clear you're not going to get what you need for the relationship to be successful is healthy and reduces your aggregate sorrow.
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“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
-Pema Chodron

Last edited by MindfulAgony; 01-02-2011 at 02:56 AM.
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