Originally Posted by MindfulAgony
I believe it makes sense to be able to adapt your relationship contract to reflect the realities in the relationship. If a triad or whatever (beyond a pair) should develop the same level of commitment, sharing of life decisions, etc. that is typical of marriage, I think it makes perfect sense for them to find a way to find the approrpriate arrangement.
Dissovling a marriage and reforming a new union could be a wonderful way to acknowledge an important transition in the relationship(s).
There are advantages to marriage that can't be replicated outside this government sanctioned contract. So, it may not make sense economically to do.
That said, it might make a lot of "emotional" sense.
About the reason/excuse: making sense "economically to be or stay married..."
That is similar to how the Federal government controls and enforces its laws on the states by "bribing them" with federal funds. If a state wants to have more "home rule" and be more independent, they can't be taking bribes (funds) from the Federal government. They need to be independent. If they refuse to follow the Federal government guidelines or laws, they risk losing their funding.
There is a price to pay for independence and freedom. If you don't want to pay that price, then you have sold your freedom down the tubes.
A marriage is a contract with "THE STATE." They tax you to get married and they charge you to get divorced and lawyers make a lot of money in the process.
Some things are a lot harder to get out of
It used to be easy
for a woman to get out of a marriage when the state had funds to help her file for divorce. Depending on the state in question, its not so easy anymore. It costs so much in some states to get divorced some women can't break that tie legally because they don't have the money to file the papers.
You can try to convince yourself that a marriage will not change your relationship, but you are only fooling yourself if you think that. It means "I own that person... and he owns me."
Now everyone knows that nobody owns anybody, but that idea is burned into the subconscious mind, where marriage is concerned. You aren't going to get it out.
If you don't believe me, then I suggest you give it a try. Suggest to your partner that they dissolve the marriage and observe how both you and your partner begin to 'feel' about that idea.