Andy, this seems to be a relatively common problem. You'll find that it is easier to find women who are willing to cheat with you than be open with you. But, you have to determine that your values are more important than convenience. If they are, my guess is that you will be rewarded with patience.
You just have to understand the odds are not running in your favor. And, just like anything else with poor odds, you need more "puts" or trys to find what you're looking for. So, as long as you understand that your failure rate will be high and that the more different attempts you make are critical to eventual success, then you'll be ok.
Alternatively, you can take it slowly and relax about the whole thing. Try to enjoy the connections you make - maintain your integrity -and recognize that they will more likely than not fail to advance very far. And, continue at a "put" rate that makes you comfortable. If you do this, you have to accept longer distances between finding a more satisfying or full relaitonship...
I tend to take the alternative relaxed view myself. But, I recognize that the former - more "puts" strategy - is filled with win. I just don't have the time and energy to put forth that kind of effort.
Male, Straight, Poly
“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
Last edited by MindfulAgony; 01-01-2011 at 10:01 PM.