I'm not sure how we get the word out, so to speak. I know that Wolf had one prospect last summer who wasn't bi and I was completely okay with that. I encouraged their friendship and assured her that it would be fine with me if something sexual developed between them (even if all she wanted was FWB) but two things happened 1) she couldn't get past the married thing 2) Wendigo's wife was hurt that Wolf had not talked to her about this first.... like I've said before, she's said before that she's incapable of loving anyone but Wendigo, but we have a sort of FWB relationship with her.... she was upset that between the 3 of us we weren't enough for Wolf. So Wolf decided to stop pursuing his prospect.
I think that some people have a hard time wrapping their mind around the concept that there doesn't have to be just one person to be "enough" for them, whether that's sexually, emotionally, or what not. We're conditioned to believe that you get married when you meet "the one" so why if you already have your "one" should another woman believe that she'll matter that significantly to you? Just my thoughts as I'm struggling with this myself. Wendigo and I see the inequalities in our quad, but feel powerless to do anything about it. We can't create more time or fix the complications that keep his wife from spending time with Wolf, we can't make her poly, but maybe in time she'll come to accept that Wolf needs some things that neither of us can provide for him. We're all committed to making this work, so one of the boundaries that the three of us placed on Wolf was that we needed to discuss potential partners with everyone and we all had to approve. I know that some people on this forum don't approve of a veto system, but we all have kids and have to be extra careful.