Polyamory and/vs. Marriage
Some thoughts on Polomory from a single older woman.
The last time a man asked me to marry him, I asked him if would just sign over half of his property to me instead. He didn't really understand what I was talking about.
I just want to illustrate that marriage is about money and property, security, commitment etc.
In my opinion, marriage is about monogamy. One man, one woman. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but since group marriage is not legal, I think a poly-amorous relationship should be equal and each individual should seek self empowerment in their own right.
One solution is that no one should be married.
If a married couple at some point agrees to a polyamory lifestyle or "open relationship" then they should both be in agreement. If they are married and own property together, they should get a legal divorce and divide the wealth and property equally or fairly. That is, if they are really serious about a new polyamory commitment.
They should make it a goal to be independent or on equal ground with equal power. Either partner should be free to seek self expression and love unhampered by rules that only apply one and not the other.
If one person is emotionally and financially dependent on the other, they will cling to the other person and they will live in fear of losing what they have and everything that goes with it.
If you remain married to each other and add a new partner who moves in and makes a commitment, what kind of problems can arise from that? The wife may think the new woman is trying to take her place, or the new woman may feel like she is just a sex object to be tossed away when the couple is tired of her.
Also, what if the wife or new woman decide to look for love with someone new? Will the man be comfortable with this? If not, then isn't he is just a man who wants two women all to himself?