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Old 01-01-2011, 02:55 PM
Andy4700's Avatar
Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56
Default How does marriage differ from a long term committed relationship. Opinions wanted.

Hey everyone. I am seeking some input this morning.

For those of you that don't know me, I am 26, married and seeking a woman for a V type situation. Its been hard as heck even meeting anyone.

I have had a couple slight possibilities derailed when the nature of my relationship with my wife has come up.

I've "advertised" as simply being in a happy, committed relationship, but since poly is built on honesty, I have always been truthful when asked more about my situation.

This at least twice has collapsed everything. :/ Its got me kinda bummed today as I was chatting with someone yesterday and we were seeming like we had great potential, until she found out I wasn't just "in love and living with another woman", but were married. She said shes not sure if she'd be okay with that.

Have some of you other married poly people had this happen? How do you handle it? Its hurting my wife because she feels like she is the one wrecking everything, when she's been incredibly supportive and would like to see something progress. She suggested we just hide the fact that we are married, but I just don't like to lie. But honestly, why is it such a big issue?

One thing to note here is that in both cases where I am sure its the reason nothing more happened, the girls were my age and never married. I get the impression maybe to them marriage is something different then it actually turns out to be. Like after you walk down the aisle, life becomes like a fairytale.

I have a feeling a woman in an open marriage would be more understanding, but I haven't met any yet.

If anyone has any input, i'd love to hear it.

-Andy
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