I'm somewhat similar to you Mono, but for different reasons. Part of me would like to have more close intimate friends (used in JRs way) but I tend to find myself being somewhat used by many. I have a personality which drives me to do all I can to make others happy. Unfortunately, many people happily take advantage of that. So I don't make many close friends anymore. Many people know alot about my life. I'm fine with being a wide open book. But that doesn't mean they're close as they don't have any real effect on my life. The few that I truly love and am really invested in are the few I trust to be in a reciprocal relationship with me.
I want to be a snot now and send you a friend request.