I know it's kind of lame to respond to my own response, but I had more thoughts I wanted to share. I am hoping that the tone of curiosity and being willing to learn is being conveyed- I know I don't know a whole lot about all this...
The problem I had with the title "Polyamory" was the "amory" portion of it. It's not that I don't care deeply for my boyfriend, (I wouldn't be where I am with him if I didn't) but I don't feel for him like I do my husband.
It is amazing to me the amount of clarity I have thanks to how happy I am with my husband. If I were single and met BF, I would likely get caught up in the hormones, try to pursue a romantic relationship, and convince myself it could work.
While happy with Hubby, I realize that it wouldn't work, and what I have here is an awesome friend who I am attracted to. I love him in the sense that I love, say, family. But not like one would a spouse.
If single, or unhappy, I would likely ruin one or both relationships. Being happy and married, and free to explore these attractions (within reason) I get to keep my friend, and explore the attraction. So far this has been very rewarding. The men are becoming pretty good friends.
BF came back from visiting family and told us how much he missed US and just being around us... He also admitted to wanting to fool around with me too, but he was just happy to be around us again. He feels accepted for the first time in forever.
I think part of the problem in my first post might have been the word "bi" - I should clarify, all 3 of us are straight. A bi addition would be fine, but I'm not looking for a woman's love for myself. I am looking for love for BF, and fun for Hubby, and a friend/teammate for myself. This person may very well be a unicorn for all I know... another reason to learn more
Ok, so I have rambled WAY too much. I hope I make more sense now.