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Old 12-30-2010, 12:32 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Squamish, BC
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Think past the pregnancy and what raising a child will be like for you, with OCD, depression, anxiety, and various physical ailments. Not only would it be tough on you but very tough on the kid. I was raised by an extremely depressed and paranoid mother, who suffered from anxiety and had physical problems, too, and my life was pretty fucked up for a long time because of it. I wouldn't wish that kind of burden on any child -- my life revolved around making my mother feel better, always thinking it was my fault when she was unhappy or in pain. It didn't matter that she told me it wasn't my fault, kids think they are the cause of stuff. And then I acted out because there was nothing I could do, and I didn't treat myself very well. I'm 50 now and still have so many unresolved issues over my upbringing.
Your experience only. Not every child's of a disabled parent's experience.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Sometimes we have to accept that being a parent might not be the best role for us. Do you really think you can focus your attention and life on raising another human being to be an emotionally well and happy individual who contributes to society? And not just to satisfy some urge in you? You can't be scattered and flip-flopping back and forth about everything, you have to provide stability and discipline to parent well.
Someone who makes a decision, before getting pregnant, to consider all options will, in my mind, be a great parent. Regardless of life circumstances, she's already putting her (future) children's needs first. You can be the most stable, most emotionally healthy person in the world - and then have something tragic happen to leave you thinking about suicide on a daily basis, to be thinking about how much better your children would be without you - and you had NO way to prepare for it. Someone who is cognizant of challenges and works FROM THE BEGINNING to make sure they have a back up plan and adequate support in place is an amazing parent - and the kids being raised by that person will be extremely lucky.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Sorry to be so blunt, but I find the idea troublesome when someone has so much going on, wants to bring a kid into the world, and thinks only of the pregnancy and not beyond that.
What makes you think she's thinking only of the pregnancy? Parenting for me was the WHOLE experience. The getting pregnant, the anxiously hoping for the + sign, then following my babies' progress as they grew within me. The experience of pregnancy and childbirth is unique and amazing. It is the start of an amazing journey.

Mohegan - make the decision that works best for your family, for your life, and with your doctor's support. It can be done, if you have the support in place and the will and desire to succeed.
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