Thank you GS and Redpepper for your responses; you are both very helpful.
I felt I was on the right track, and your answers gave me more to consider. It sort of hurts to give up this opportunity, but at the same time is like, "yeah, so go on, get past it."
I really like her for herself not just for the opportunity.
GS, I am interested in building and delving into the philosophical aspects; it's nice to get good solid answers that make sense and don't pander to the sensational - very affirming of the possibility for poly in my life.
Thank you both,