Originally Posted by FlameKat
Not saying to scare you... just making clear unexpected complications are a huge factor that need to be taken into account in a situation like yours.
Have you seriously discussed the possibillity of a successful pregnancy with your doctor?
If your doctor is positive about the idea, and you have the absolute best support around you (you WILL need it) then by all means seriously consider it, there is nothing (to me) that compares to the feeling of having a little life growing inside you (instances of feeling like a parasite's host aside
) and there is NOTHING that compares to the moment of birth.
Personally... I think I would opt for fostering, while in the queue to adopt...
Thanks for the honesty. I didn't take any of it as a scare tatic, but honesty it was what I was looking for. I know very well the complications that could arise. I come from a very medical family, as well as seeing mutiple specialists. The risks involved are a huge reason why I am thinking this over so thoroughly.
My Drs are actualy all for it. I've been told none of my scar tissue should get in the way of getting pregnant. I may have issues carrying because of the cancer and the multiple laposcropies for the endo, but they won't know for sure until I am actualy pregnant. I have been told I will most likely be on bedrest for the majority.
I think part of my indecision comes from wondering what our child would be like, what our DNA would create. I see the miracle that is my niece, what my brother and his wife created. I want the same for Karma and I.
I have had several friends offer to surrogate for us. I'm still undecided on that. That's a lot to ask someone, even if they are the ones who offered. Plus I'm a control freak and that's taking giving up control to a whole new level.
Which brings my brain back around to adoption. I'll be healthy and not recovering, so I can be involved in their life right away, I'm giving a child a home and love that they weren't born into, I can continue taking my meds and there is no health risk. But will my sometimes materialistic and very appearance based family accept our adopted child? My brother will no doubt, but I wonder about my parents. Can Karma and I handle knowing that child, whom we'll love ( I have no doubt), won't have our DNA? Wouldn't that be a good thing anyway with all they could inherit?
And this is why I posed the question. My brain keeps going in connecting circles. I know it is our decision, I would never allow someone to decide this for me. But hearing others opinions or experiences has always helped me make tough decisions.
And for all I know, Karma may change his mind again and this could all be for nothing.