Considering your challenges resemble my wifes in a lot of ways. Almost to a tee.
I would love to adopt, and not put her through the potential problems. But she is adamant she wants to give birth. We are speaking with doctors and getting the ball rolling on ways to make it work with minimal impact.
I have told her I want to adopt one kid at some point. With my background and seeing how horrible the system is, as well as watching adopted kids get brought to homes and then moved around. Who knows if it will happen, but I am interested.