Originally Posted by Lucidius
I suppose I should mention that when she mentions being with another man or woman, usually in weaponized context to try and make me jealous, I am 100% ok with it. I've had lovers do that in the past and get extremely frustrated when I supported them.
Is it just an unbreachable psychological division?
I've had the same thing. I mentioned to an ex that I felt I needed someone else and explained as best I could as to why and what I felt. She didn't agree and asked "what if I got with other guys?"... I said, "yes, you should. It could help for you to understand perhaps?"... Well, that relationship didn't last long anyways. =/ Only one more relationship and split later [after explaining who I am again], I realised it was something I really needed to look on and learn more about myself. It seems like certainly an important thing to bring up before I go into any serious relationship again. I've told those I love and they seem supportive, but they don't exactly agree themselves.
It's unfortunate that people are brought up to think in these ways. I think poly is a lot about having an open mind as to what COULD happen. I may very well find one person I'm happy with forever, but I've not been in a relationship yet where something wasn't missing. Just so happens to be someone who could hold up the other side of my personality I need.