Originally Posted by Polymonial
Ideally, if she could just give me a little space in the early days of my meeting someone (doesn't have to be long... just a week or two, or even less if we hit it off quickly), then I think the process would be a LOT smoother and everything / everyone would work out great.
That sounds reasonable and I think that is what you should do if it is what you feel is right. Have you said it to your wife the way you said it on here? Perhaps the next step is to invite her to read what you wrote on this forum and maybe she'll want to create her own profile. Remember that she does not have to tell any of US she's your wife unless she WANTS to.
Other than that, the way I look at it is: since you appear to have identified the root causes of her hang-ups and insecurities, there shouldn't be any need for rules that validate them. You two should examine WHY she has those particular conditional insecurities and perceived threats and work on eliminating that counter-productive mindset. Then you can meet potential partners any way that seems natural (dating sites and clubs are not as "natural" as meeting someone through mutual friends, but there is nothing IMPROPER about them) and not be hindered by manufactured external factors so much.