Originally Posted by Tonberry
............., sex with someone I don't have an emotional connection has, so far, had the result to prevent me from forming one ever afterwards. It's too fast, it's a shock, it's some kind of trauma, it causes me to trust them less rather than more, etc.
Yea Ton, we all hear this a lot. Read it back yourself and think about it.........
This is the kind of thing I'd ask anyone to sit back and look at and try to determine how much reality is incorporated and how much is conditioning.
How COULD having sex with someone where there wasn't (yet) any emotional bond prevent it (a bond)? Does that make ANY sense ?
There's only one reason I can think of. Your thinking/belief system. OR.... the sex was substandard and your intuition warned you correctly that this could be a big problem down the road. So you moved away from the situation.
There's just no way that 'having sex' with someone could prevent anything more if there was potential for more to begin with. Unless we BELIEVE that illusion ourself !
But if you go into the sex with this already in your head............well..........what could you expect the outcome to be ?
If you go into sex the same way you'd go into a concert - with the idea you are exploring musical tastes and passion for music - together, then the only thing you bring away is that you are either very similar, somewhat similar, or maybe not even on the same page. Nothing more than one more piece of information that will play into the interaction if a relationship builds. I say it a lot - too much probably........it's ONLY sex ! Only one piece of the puzzle.
It's all about what we believe and the reality we create for ourself - right ?