View Single Post
Old 12-28-2010, 12:19 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Originally Posted by Nakedone View Post
This is my first visit to this site. But it is not my first time to experience what is discussed her. I have had a number of experiences which could be called "polyamory", even though they were very different.

I am very aware that there are many different "kinds" of polyamory, and that nearly everyone will have a different definition, so I will give mine and attempt to help others organize their thinking on this very "outrageous" topic.

One thing that seems to be basic to all defiinitions is that there are at least three people involved in a sexual relationship of some kind. But, beyond that, the varieties are many!

From my own experience, the most "usual" polyamory relationship involves two men and one woman. And, in most cases, one of the men will be the husband of the one woman involved. But, not always.

I, personally, have been involved in MFM sexual situations in which the woman was my wife; in others where the woman was the other man's wife; and in still others where neither was married to the one woman. Of all those relationships, my estimate is that sixty percent of them were those involving my wife and me and one other man. Another thirty would have involved a woman, another man, and me, and neither of us was married to her. Only the other ten percent would have involved me with a married couple.

I would like to discuss the many different kinds of polyamory, either through private messages, or on this open forum. I do want to read the experiences from others and am willing to share my own. Perhaps we can learn from each other in this way.

My question to any who read this is: "How do YOU define Polyamory, and what kinds of three-person sexual relationships have you enjoyed most?"
I was a little triggered also actually. A lot of us have worked hard on here and in our lives to come to a respectful acceptance that we know little about any one elses poly but our own... check out a "tag search" on "descriptive" and "prescriptive" to see the debate and discussions of the past and you will see what I talk of.

I also think you should check our the media section for the court case that is going on in Canada BC as it is an argument that includes this very topic, "what is the definition of poly?"

It seems my peers have gotten on you about all this and so I won't go on about it except to say that the main consensus seems to be that poly is not about sex specifically, but a healthy love for each other. It's a mind set that permeates ones entire life. It encompasses some basic principles for me that set a foundation for any solid relationship ... I have written about this all on numerous threads over the last two years. but basically if you read some threads in the stickies and do tag searches ("rules," "foundations," for a start) on all of this you will find my opinion.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote