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Old 12-27-2010, 10:15 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by StrangerinKS View Post
I obviously have some security issues to work on. If I had been more secure and confident in the first place, things would never have gotten as bad as they did. Either I wouldn't have gotten as hurt as badly by her behavior, or I would have stood up for myself a lot sooner, and either diffused the situation with better communication, or withdrawn from the relationship sooner and without as much heartache.
Sometimes the shit can blindside. No matter how strong or how much you are invested. It might have nothing to do with you...pain comes from investment. If you were invested in her, its gonna hurt. If someone doesn't care, they can dismiss with ease. My ex is like this, she can roll through guys pretty easily, and not even blink in pain.

Easy words to say, tough words to live by. I do the same thing, I blame myself for every bump and second guess everything I do when breakups happen.

My wife says 90% of this is my lover's fault for being insensitive and treating me as disposable. Personally, I think I bear a greater share of the responsibility than that. I don't like trying to "assign" percentages in such cases, but both my lover and I made some serious mistakes. I can't fix her issues, but I can fix mine, so that's what I'm working on.
If relationships were like math life sure would be easier
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