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Old 12-27-2010, 02:52 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Might I suggest sourgirl that much of your discomfort could be due to the fact that your relationship with Ari is long distance and you simply haven't had enough long time together, and haven't been together all that long.
I wish it were that simple. I am like this in my local relationships as well. I have a male friend I have known since I was 14. From your descriptions I have read in other posts, he would be what you call a non-sexual boyfriend. He even lived with us for awhile. I wouldn`t even prop my feet up on his lap with someone else in the room.

I can think of others as well, but I`ve already blabbed more about myself then I usually care to.

It`s more about hierarchy then anything.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Recently there was a friend taking pictures at a party. She had people go under the mistletoe to get a picture taken. I was very uncomfortable and awkward. A lot of the people there were fine with it, but I wasn't. Its kind of a lack of control thing somehow or its to intimate.
I recognize my lack of enthusiasm for this type of thing, and if people are good natured and just having respectful fun, then I usually suck it up, and go along with it, as long as someone isn`t dictating . In the end,..who does it hurt ? one.

Where it crosses the line for me, is the type of person who likes to grab arms and 'drag' a person into things. Or the peer pressure crap. I will pull back and say something blunt. That person usually ends up feeling silly.

You are right on this, its probably a control feature over intimacy. Some of us are just wired this way.
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