Originally Posted by Somegeezer
Why does the idea of a cuddle pile make you want to "jet from the room"? I could understand not wanting to participate, but that sounds like a serious phobia or something. Are your husband and boyfriend separate from each other too? Do they also enjoy they get you alone from each other when snuggling? Have you ever snuggled one in front of the other? What was the others reaction if so?
I don`t think it`s a phobia. It`s a preference due to my private nature. I feel the same when lots of family members are hugging 'good-byes' and one makes a point of being extra sappy. I always wish inwardly they would say what they had to say in private. If it was a phobia, I`d probably stop people, instead of just 'wishing' the attention away.
I understand people`s needs for showing affection differently then me, and try to find that balance.
ariakas already chimed in with some of what he feels. My guess, to date, is that they could both take it, or leave it. They are happy for the alone time, and if I don`t want to hold both of their hands, skipping through tulips, that`s fine by them.
I have tried ....( hmmm I think), 3 times doing some form of touch on both of them at the same time. Holding hands once, and 'snuggling' the third time. All of those times I initiated, in the attempt to try something different. All 3 times I felt ok the first minute, and increasingly less so as minutes passed. It`s just not my cup of tea.
Never afraid to try something new, but once tried, I know when something doesn`t work for me.
I have snuggled my husband in front of the bf, but not vice versa. It`s a relationship that believes in heirarchical roles, so I highly doubt it bugged ariakas at all. It certainly doesn`t bug me when he snuggles his wife in front of me. I have also tried to let myself be snuggled in front of ariakas wife, and didnt feel comfortable that way either.
I can do it, but my preference is privacy.