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Old 12-26-2010, 04:37 PM
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Sapphire Sapphire is offline
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Im not even going to go into what I weigh, but lets just say I exceed the weight limit for trampolines, most camping chairs, and the operating tables at the local hospital.

I have ALWAYS been huge, and up until a few years ago, I was always FIT with it. I could go all day - work in the paddocks, do fencing, stack hay, ride horses all day and not be 'dead' half way through. Fit, thinner and thin people could not keep up with me.

When I got sick - well, with THIS lot of stuff, I could no longer do the things I used to, and I have suffered big time because of it.

I barely eat, however due to my health I am restricted in my movement and am not very mobile at all these days. I am generally not allowed to play with sharp objects or go play with the horses outside on my own as I tend to pass out, which as you could imagine, is not real good!

My health condition has nothing to do with my 'size' - its something that does not discriminate at all, and my doctors have actually told me to eat more salt, something someone of my size generally does NOT get told to do.

My blood pressure is too low most of the time, and while yes my skeletal pain is not helped by my weight - it wasnt caused by my weight - when I was able to move around and do stuff, it didnt cause an issue at all.

I am trying desperately to lose weight, and apart from having gastric banding done, I have tried pretty much everything. I am in a catch 22 situation - I need to excersise to lose some weight, but I cant excersise because of my health.

A lot of days I just want to give up.

My husband says he finds me attractive still - I personally dont feel it, but his perception of me is obviously much different to my own perception of myself.

I get so sick of people who label 'skinny' people as people who starve themselves and are that way because they did it to themselves, or people my size, the same way - but overeaters. And do you KNOW how horrid it is to have people stare at you if you go out for dinner and happen to have something a bit naughty?? They all assume you eat that stuff ALL the time.

Skinny people and fat people do not CHOOSE to be that way for the most part. There are many health issues that mean that their bodies dont cooperate with them the way they wish.

I have never looked at anyone in terms of attractiveness based on the size of their body. I am a sucker for eyes, a smile and a sense of humor. Those three things are what get me in a person.
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