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Old 12-26-2010, 01:27 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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thanks LR and Derby. *hugs* feeling much better now.

My co-workers and I bonded like never before this week. We went through a huge life altering moment this week in moving our office. It isn't really related to here or anything that I can really pin point, but I am changed and love them all the more now. I am so fortunate to be blessed to work with a team that is so incredible. Even our clients came together and we did it together.

Christmas has really been good this year. Dinner at PN's mum's last night went really well. PN's brother was there and met Mono for the first time. They were polite and chatted with him. There was some confusion I sensed from them, but I gave each man attention as I normally would and we all acted like ourselves. They couldn't deny that things seem really humming along well between us both. I really like PN's brother and his Korean wife. I have known them both since they were teens and the wife was a student living with PN's mum and his brother for awhile. They have a wonderful way about them and a sense of humour that is similar to all of us. The brother designs video games for a company in a near by city and LB listened to him talk about his work with wide eyes... after they both palyed together on their DS's. LB LOVED it! He is connecting more and more to his uncle each time they hang out... even if it is just once or twice a year.

PN's mum is staying dry this season and was really struggling last night. I don't think I have even experienced her being sobber for any occasion. I was really impressed and noticed a huge enjoyment to everyones comfort and enjoyment of the evening, besides her. She was embarassed that I said something, as she feels she doesn't live up to my mum and her sister. Total bullshit, and I told her so... if you read back on our story you will see how much love and support she gave us where they could not. She said she never has understood, but as she cheated on PN's dad and left him for PN's best friends dad; his now step dad, she didn't think she should judge as we aren't hurting anyone and we are all benefitting. I gave her big hugs, told her how proud she should feel and how I admired her. I told her I love her and wish her success... then I told her I would leave her alone as she was obviously done with my attention heh, I do like to lavish support sometimes.

Today I texted everyone in my address book and enjoyed getting responses from people I haven't talked to in an age. We got up and hung out admiring the foot prints santa left and drank coffee with Bailey's. LB looked at the science books he got last night. No interest in more presence. He prefers the magic of it all. He is so much like me. I never ate halloween candy or wanted to open presence. I just liked the magic of it all, the story behind it all. We eventually got to it opening gifts... I got a lovely three heart pendant from Mono and martini fixin's from PN among other wonderful things. LB got a watch, a wallet, and TONS of lego atlantis. Funny, santa got him double of one... opps. I guess that will have to be a gift for one of his friends.

After some pancakes that PN made we went for a walk and got someone to take a picture of us at a local park on the ocean that I walk to as much as I can. I found a note from Mono stuck in a rock crevace that we have been using as a note spot for two years now. I have a huge box of notes now all expressing his love. I was pleased to get one today. It seemed so poiniant somehow. I looked out for a moment over the water to the mountains beyond and felt right in the world.

After a few errands and relaxing... and a lot of eggnog martinis *hick* LB now await dinner. PN and Mono have done everything. I so appreciate all the efforts they have made to be organized and Christmasy where I was unable this week. We pulled it off together. Even managing to avoid the embarassment of missing a gift to PN's brother! I bought it quickly on the way home from work.

I am so happy. I talked to all my loves today, Derby included. Leo as well; albeit in texts... and now sit here, buzzed and content after a shit week. Nothing like going through shit to come out of it feeling grateful, and enjoying life more. This is what it's about. I think of Brene Brown from a few pages back when I posted about her writing and realize that I have not one single relationship that is numbed down. I live with everything that I can muster and it means that moments like this are absolutely perfection, or at least as close to it as possible.

Maybe it's the eggnog talking
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