What a week! NRE and pNRE
Macbeth and I have had a wonderful, emotionally intense week that sets my head spinning to think about it, and the ground we've covered. In our reading, we have seen it stated again and again that opening the conversation about poly provides opportunities for candor that had never existed before. Because of our closeness and increased intimacy, I felt able to share some shameful behaviors in my past that I had kept from him. This was painful and emotional, but powerful and has brought us closer. I also felt able to share some of the patterns in our relationship that had been hurtful to me.
I have been dating a good friend, although physical has not progressed beyond kissing. I considered halting that relationship completely until Macbeth and I had the opportunity to work through the uncovered potential issues in our own relationship. I also didn't want to miss out on a wonderful opportunity with the bf, who is truly mono...
Then...Macbeth started to have some pNRE (pre new relationship energy) as he identified a couple of prospects, and this led us to both feel more comfortable in my building attachment with the bf, although I decided for myself to make no physical progression until all three of us felt comfortable. The bf has expressed fears that his friendly caring will turn into love and that he wouldn't be able to handle that within the current arrangement. So we've all three decided to slow things down and just absolutely enjoy our time. The bf and I are enjoying long conversations, jogging, holding hands, and kissing which has been wonderful. The first time Macbeth called him my "boyfriend" I had a surge of joy.
Can I say, this is all very fun and wonderful, and also emotionally intense and exhausting? However, I've never felt more alive.