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Old 12-25-2010, 05:33 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,440

I think the categories are too black and white. The answers you provides can be summed up as "Sex is essential" and "Sex is irrelevant". But there is a lot of wiggle room between essential and irrelevant!
I don't need sex to be in love. Actually, I've always been in love long before having sex with said person. Never have I first had sex, then fallen in love, if I'm not in love at the time we have sex, I won't be. At least if I am to believe past experiences.

However, it's not true that I couldn't care less about sex. I do care about it a lot. It's just not something I require in order to be in love.

Imagine if you asked that same question about love. If the options were "love is essential: I can't have sex if I'm not in love" and "I couldn't care less about love", you'd be missing a whole lot of people: those who can have sex with or without love, and feel love is very important.

If sex and love are dissociated, then you can find both important but not essential to one another.

Of course the fact it's cut between men and women excludes people as well, but I guess your whole purpose here was to see if people who identify as male and people who identify as female would have different answers, so I guess it kind of makes sense for you to ask it this way.
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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