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Old 12-25-2010, 04:52 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karma View Post
"Several" being two, and before you expressed that you didn't want them on here, for some reason...

(sigh) you're over-reacting again...

Two too many. I have expressed that, over and over and over again. But we'll discuss that privately. I don't want to get into a fight on the blog. But I would appreciate you respecting my feelings instead constantly saying I am over reacting. Maybe in your eyes I am, but this is how I am feeling and if you can't sympathize I would at least appreciate you respecting them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
I can relate to this Karma. Sorry. It's difficult sometimes, for me to say things that I feel because even just my WIFE is on the site.

Exactly and if I feel that way with my husband here, how will I feel with real life friends here.

ON THE OTHER HAND.....

Mo, these friends are friends who know your life? For my wife and I, this site, as well as facebook, gives us that anonymity (in a maner of speaking) to say the things I'm feeling and express them somewhat openly. Don't leave the site, but....post carefully. I know I do sometimes. Or possibly start a new account and only let those who know you personally, know what your new sign name is.

I've considered a new account name. But it wouldn't take long for these friends to figure it out. One is Panda and the other is another close friend. While they are aware of things, they don't live a poly life, though the friend is considering it. I come here to put out thoughts, emotions, questions. I never really expect a response, but when I get them, I consider what everyone has to say, because the people here do live a poly life, and some can relate to what I feel and the emotions I go through. I can't express how much that has done for me.

I love Panda. But we don't really discuss a lot of what I put on here. Partly because Karma has asked me not to, as he was sick of Panda yelling at him or Cricket, and partly because that's just not the dynamic of our relationship. I know I can go to her about anything, but on these subjects, Panda and I have very different outlooks and thoughts and a lot of the time I feel I am just defending myself instead of talking to a trusted friend. (sorry Panda if you read that and get upset, but it's how I feel).

Our other friend and I just do not have that dynamic. We don't talk about that kind of stuff. Most of our "deep" conversations have been about religion. And those have been few.

Honestly the only RL friend I discuss this stuff with is my brother. Because he is the only other person, aside from Karma, who completely gets me. I don't have to explain why I think a certain way ( since I apparently think differently than most people). My brother just gets it. Even though he doesn't get poly, he does get emotions and relationship dynamics, and does his best to put things into persepctive for me.

I think a lot of my issue with this, right now, is that I seem to constantly be defending my feelings with Karma. Suddenly, the last few weeks, according to him, I don't know how I really feel, I don't express what I am truly feeling, I am always over reacting. Dealing with that with my husband is hard enough, I don't want to add other RL friends to it.

This has always been my safe blog. No one I knew aside from Karma and Cricket, would ever see my thoughts and emotions. I could put it here unedited. And then once I had a better grap on things, thanks to the feedback I got here, if I chose to talk to my RL friends about it, I did. I feel like that privacy and safety has been taken away and I've had no say.
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