Originally Posted by Tonberry
......... I'm not convinced it makes a huge difference if you first "check" if you're compatible sexually or emotionally, provided you can do it in either order.
Ok..........so this you believe ?
Maybe it's that you are a person who is really comfortable with who you are, emotionally, sexually, physically etc. That's a rare blessing if that's the case.
So you are saying......for example, that.....
A love (potential) that you have become quite close to and have high hopes for the future suddenly begins to become distant - OR - even is brutally honest with you by stating that they (he/she) is not "into" you sexually (maybe followed by the proverbial 'likes you as a person very much' etc)
The distance grows after an early sexual experience - maybe with no explanation. Before you really know each other that well.
In the later case, it seems at least, you would cry foul, label them a 'player', user etc, shifting any potential blame away from yourself and onto them. Seems that's the classic model ?
And being the net result is about the same - which is more harmful. Which more kind in the long run ?
I suspect the answer may vary some between individuals but............
Hmmmm.......seems this discussion would have fit nicely into the "How important is sex to you" thread.....