Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
I've thought about this some more and I think there might be a more fundamental element at play with regards to being a "primary partner" to a polyamorous partner. For some monos, and I include myself in this, I believe there is a mental block at the concept of having multiple committed relationships at such a deep level. I can't surrender myself to feeling "on par" with PN. Their marrraige and son keep their relationship on an elevated platform in my eyes. This works for me though. it's not that I am given the impression that I am less important to the family.....but there is n internal sense that I am not. There is nothing that anyone can do about that and it is not a negative thing at all for me. Perhaps for others it would be and so they would hold back.
i'm not going to tell you it's not "internal", but I think it isprimarily EXTERNAL because that's how society would view it too. Let's say that poly can be accepted by most mainstream people even if they don't agree with it. Those types of people would view a married relationship with child and property and debts as being on a higher plane or whatever it was you just said. So I think you are just subscribing to that. You've incorporated that mindset all your life, that marriage is a sacrament, so of course you'll carry it over into your poly context.
Sometimes you really over-analyze things.