I've thought about this some more and I think there might be a more fundamental element at play with regards to being a "primary partner" to a polyamorous partner. For some monos, and I include myself in this, I believe there is a mental block at the concept of having multiple committed relationships at such a deep level. I can't surrender myself to feeling "on par" with PN. Their marrraige and son keep their relationship on an elevated platform in my eyes. This works for me though. it's not that I am given the impression that I am less important to the family.....but there is n internal sense that I am not. There is nothing that anyone can do about that and it is not a negative thing at all for me. Perhaps for others it would be and so they would hold back.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over