I really hate depression...I SHOULD be extremely happy right now...but I'm not. I SHOULD be jumpiong in the streets...but I'm not......
L and V had a long heart to heart today. They got some issues worked out between them. I am still not quite sure if I want to continue on this path. L has some extreme jealousy issues....justifyably so...but it's just so difficult to deal with on a regular basis, that I'm seriously not sure I'm willing to keep the relationship going. V and I get along good.....L and V get along good...L and I are MARRIED....and get along VERY good. (Expecially considering we've been married for 20 years) So why aren't I happy? Why can't I make myself happy? Why am I in such terrible times? I am litterally depressed further than I can remember being. And it sucks. No idea why...I just am.
Found out today, that V thinks I touch and try to hold her hand too much....Weird...I thought she liked it. I guess she was just being polite though. *shrug*
MAYBE, my being so tired, is playing hard on my emotions right now...and I should just shut the hell up and go to sleep......It's probably the best thing to do right now. LOL ?Have a nice evening...and I probably won't get on again until after christmas.
p.s. V is scheduled to spend the night on Christmas, and again on New Years. Not sure about that yet...but maybe when I'm not so tired and depressed, it'll sound like a good thing again. I only know that I'm NOT going to sleep in the middle this time! Gonna be at the edge of the bed so I keep outta trouble.