Yes, this was my first poly relationship, and my lover's first as well, although both her and her husband and me and my wife have dabbled (successfully) in swinging without problems. The problem this time came when deep emotions got involved.
She seems happy with her new guy and her husband, and I'm glad for that, although as I said she told me Tuesday that she wishes she could take it all back and have just stuck with me in the first place. I'm not sure what to make of that.
My wife and I are doing well. It has been very stressful for us. My wife was strongly, STRONGLY supportive of the relationship with my lover at first, but she now believes that my lover treated me badly and is very angry about it. She's been frustrated with me at times as well, feeling that I held on too long, and that towards the end I wasn't paying enough attention to her (my wife) even when my lover was making me miserable. We have been working hard at getting things back on an even keel and are doing well. Our relationship is incredibly secure, which is why our swinging adventures have worked well, and why we were willing to give poly a try.
The issue was never jealousy about or from my wife...I got jealous about my lover.