It IS ok to feel all of these things dear sir.
The problem is that in this life there are many (and this is obviously going to be one for you) situations where we don't get to choose to DO "what we want" or "what feels right" or "feels good". We have to choose between choices we don't like, don't feel right or don't feel good.
Which choice will work "the best" for you out of the choices/options you see for yourself? That's the real question.
It hurts, I know it does.
I've been in situations where every choice I had felt like a big huge fuck you slamming into my head. I'm sorry that you are hurting.
It sounds like it may be a good time for you to take a weekend to yourself and just go do something for yourself, give yourself some time to just think through your actual options, and the real consequences of those actions so that you can decide what to do and then put your whole heart and mind into it.
"Love As Thou Wilt"