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Old 12-22-2010, 10:45 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post
You're not poly. Poly is specifically "consentual non-monogamy". What you're describing is cheating.
I disagree. In my opinion, a polyamorous relationship is consensual non-monogamy, yes. However, an individual being polyamorous just mean they have the ability to love more than one person at the same time. So cheating doesn't mean you are not polyamorous. It doesn't mean you are, either, as there are plenty of mono cheaters as well.

I think we need to differentiate between poly as a relationship description and as a love orientation, in the same way a gay person can happen to be in an opposite-sex relationship at some point for a variety of reasons. His relationship isn't gay, nor is he straight.

Going back to the problem, I'm glad you were honest with him in the end. Good luck with the rest of your journey!
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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