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Old 12-21-2010, 08:44 AM
felid felid is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Unhappy looking for advice...

Hi, i'm new, and having some troubles.

Background info:

Im new to poly, my boyfriend isn't. I've known from the start that he would be with other women, and he usually has had other people during our relationship.

My issue starts:

So, this summer was basicly just my boyfriend and i, having no other partners at the time, and we planned on going to a kinky camping event. At the event, boyfriend met a woman, C, who he seemed to be very interested in. That night i had a migraine and went to bed early. He went and ended up having sex with this new woman we had both barely known for 10 hours. i found out about it when he came back to our tent early the next morning. Needless to say i was very upset.

First i blamed her, and fantasized about destroying her in true Frank Miller style, but after venting, and crying, and talking extensively i realized that the real issue was with boyfriend, although i still feel like she shares some of the blame. Eventually, again, i forgave him.

I was releived when that weekend was over, as she lives far away from us. In september, boyfriend surprised me by saying that she was coming to visit. i avoided her like the plague but was civil when i had to be. i also took her out for breakfast to try and get to know her better one on one. We talked about my perspective and both of our feelings. i still don't like her.

Fast forward to now:

So, C has now gotten a new job and is moving to our city. i still very much dislike her and know that boyfriend will want to try and pursue a relationship with her.

I don't want to be around her, but i don't want my relationship with boyfriend to be strained either. We don't live together and both of us work as well as go to school. Recently, without the added person, we've seen eachother once or twice a week, and even that is too little for my tastes.

How can i make sure that he doesn't forget all about me when he's overwhelmed by NRE?

I don't want to miss out on anything, but i dont want to be in the same vicinity as C. Am i being unreasonable?

-felid
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