So 3 years ago, Patrick started having ED problems, depression, and weight-gain (how much are we talking? 10 lbs? 100?), while at the exact same time, you suddenly found yourself disliking any intimacy with him at all...
What happened first? The dislike of intimacy or the problem? Does your dislike of that intimacy stem from the problem?
I seriously hope he's seeking treatment for this, it sounds to me like it could be a major thyroid problem or worse. Seriously, if he hasn't spoken with a doctor (and a good one at that) about this, he needs to do so immediately. It sounds to me like he's got a major hormonal imbalance and that is causing other problems like the weight gain and depression. ED can be caused by a LOT of different issues, and most of them are quite serious.