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Old 12-20-2010, 10:45 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,443

I'm (kind of) CF too, and I agree that the main reason for not having children is not wanting them. Why would you have children if you don't have any?
I say "kind of" because I don't want biological children, but my boyfriend says he might adopt and I said I would help raise the kid... But I would be more of an aunt, I don't think I would consider myself a parent. It would be his child, not mine.

Anyways, my point was that a lot of discussions among CFs go along the lines of "here are all the things I can do thanks to not having kids" and things like extra money, extra time and extra mobility (no need to worry about uprooting your kid if you want to live in a different country every six months) come up often. Of course, all these things are of little importance for people who do want kids, they'll trade them off happily, but when you don't want them to begin with, it's good to be able to enjoy these things and tell yourself that you couldn't have if you had had kids.

So I wasn't trying to say that their main motivation for not having kids was to be able to spoil a girlfriend. (In my opinion, you don't need a motivation not to have kids, it's to have them that you need one anyway). But what I meant to say is that while I doubt they spoil their girlfriend to "replace" a child they "lack", on the other hand it's not having children that gives them the opportunity to spoil her that much more.
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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