So as promised here's a bit of a synopsis of what 10 hours in a car with someone will bring you in the way of conversation.
We spoke a lot about the rights that secondaries have in structuring their relationships. My husband's girlfriend has a crush on someone and has gone on a date with this fellow. He happens to be someone who is involved with a lot of the women in the community to one degree or another. I was wondering if my husband had any concerns about it since previous discussions with his girlfriend had led him to believe that there wouldn't be anyone new coming on the scene any time soon. He was wondering if he had any say in it at all since he's her secondary partner. My advice was that he needs to talk to her about any concerns that he has about it and that being secondary doesn't mean that you don't get to have feelings and oppinions about what your partner does. She needs to know how he's feeling as well. It doesn't mean that she has to change her actions but she derserves to be able to make desisions with all the information available to her.
We also talked about what my husband considers dates. He feels that RP and I don't go on dates often enough. I've told him that I'm happy with the amount of time we see each other and just because he doesn't consider some of what we do dates doesn't make it any less meaningful to me. Although we do struggle to find alone time to spend with each other.
Then we had a big long talk about my best friend out here and having to see her with her new man who I don't care for much. Tonight is the night that we see them. I'm mentally prepared to leave if I have to. From what I know of him, he has very little respect for women and that's not going to fly with me. I'm at the point of being willing to let go of the friendship if it comes to that.
Time for a snooze before heading back to the stores for more shopping. It's cold here, glad for a warm bed to snuggle into!
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.