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Old 12-20-2010, 01:51 PM
whatamIdoing's Avatar
whatamIdoing whatamIdoing is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: maryland
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I understand where you are...

I love B with my heart and soul but thankfully for us I could never lie to him... we were swingers before J came into our life... and I was open and honest with B from day one about "wanting to do J"... and B always said go for it.

It was almost a joke... but then it started happening and J and I have developed a deep bond... and we are friends... I have spent time alone with him with B's knowledge and consent... this is KILLING B and we have had discussion upon discussion about this... BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED LYING TO him.

and interestingly enough J does not condone lying either so for either of us we could NOT have an affair... I can EASILY see how folks do it... but it's so NOT for me...

I'm suffering the pain of trying to get B comfortable with having J in OUR lives... because there are FOUR relationships here... me and B, B and J, J and me and the three of us...

this is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done... HURTING B has killed me... but I can't deny who I am nor do I want to walk away from J... and B to his credit, is letting me play this out... even as it kills him.

I think I would DIE if I had to lie to B... part of my joy is sharing stuff with him that happens with J that makes me happy... and none of it is sexual... J and I have not consummated our relationship yet...

Last edited by whatamIdoing; 12-20-2010 at 01:54 PM.
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