View Single Post
Old 12-20-2010, 12:32 AM
BrigidsDaughter's Avatar
BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 822

Unwitty - I understand, in part where you are coming from, the part about falling inlove with someone when you were happy with the one you had and the confusion about what it says about you, etc. After years of being a poly couple in a relationship with a swinger couple, I can tell you that I felt love for our couple, but it wasn't the head over heals kind. Now, I can have sex without needing to be in love or love the person, so when my best friend asked to have a sexual relationship of sorts with me, we agreed. I never expected to fall in love with him and I certainly handled it poorly. Sneaking him over for sex while my husband was away instead of being open about it and lying about it - all because I didn't know how to deal with being head over heals in love with two people at the same time.... it took about 5 hours for my husband to get me to fess up that we'd been intimate while he was gone and has taken the last year and a half to repair the damage done to our trust (his turn to realize how it feels to be the cheated on party) - we're still working on things, but I'd have died if I lost him and I certainly didn't want to leave the husband for our best friend/ my now boyfriend. You need to be honest with yourself, your fiance and your new guy. Your fiance might not be as awesome as my husband was, but continuing to cheat is NOT the answer and NOT telling him will only bite you all in the end.
Reply With Quote