I must admit my "rules" are extremely simple and yet I am often embarassed by them because they may appear small minded or selfish. I need polyfidelity in my relationship with Redpepper in regards to other men. I feel healthy and happy with the men in her life now and healthy in moving forward towards a bright future.
Nobody knows what the future holds or how we as individuals may grow or change but the person I am now needs this. If things change for either of us down the road then we will explore that to see where our path leads.
Regardless, we will both do what is healthy for us as individuals and strive to stay healthy as a couple but our friendship is the most important aspect for me....not being a part of her life is unacceptable to me.
As far as the word "rule" goes; me and most people I know in the poly world disagree LOL! I have no issue with black and white boundaries or accepting that there is a clear cost to breaking them. Modern societies are governed by rules...but unlike in society it's nice that within our relationships we can come to agreements on what those rules should look like.
To me there are more boundaries in a relationship than actual rules. Boundaries can be pushed and explored for modification, reshaped and redefined. Rules are broken.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over