~the constant asking if one of the males is single and friends wanting the inside scoop about him and his availability
As I am completely mono I don't think this is an issue for Redpepper in regards to people being interested in me. I have made this very clear during our poly meetings and in the one time someone kind of approached me on Facebook. I'm black and white in most areas and am very blunt about my own "unavailability" I don't play games with my commitment. Plus I'm basically bald so that helps
Redpepper is better suited to answer the remaining questions.
Take care and I hope you find your answers!