That sucks. It is so hard to make sacrifices for someone when you think the state of your relationship is one way and it ends up being something totally different. I feel for you because it sounds like he is being very selfish in all this. Not only is he willing and ready to let you make all the sacrifices, but he is willing to let you take all the heartache and responsibility if it doesn't work out the way he wanted. This also makes me think you care more for him than he does for you. I agree with SG, you need to let him go and find someone or several someones who actually treat you with consideration and respect. If you really want to get to him, act like it is no big deal and tell him you are letting him go. He may not come after you, but it will sting in the end. Sometimes people like to have those around them cling to them because it makes them feel good. I wouldn't put it past him if he allows you to make all those sacrifices and then expects you to just deal with his choices, not making it about choices you make together.
You knew I was a snake when you picked me up...