Originally Posted by SvartSvensk
Cross that bridge when you come to it, and don't make assumptions about where things will end up ahead of time, because the truth is you have no way of knowing. Remain positive, loving, and open. If in the end, after being totally open and honest with each other, you find that you cannot pack away your physical desires, then talk about it, and do what's right by your partner and your situation. I doubt that if you and your SO are in a place where you can comfortably communicate on the deepest level you'll WANT to divorce. Surviving that kind of communication creates a bond few things can sever. I think most of us are poly because it's the most sensible solution to the fact that human beings are innately promiscuous (whether sex, love, or both) yet live in a society driven by material possession and property transference, which has, since its very inception, depended on monogamous legal relationships - IE the institution of Marriage.
SvartSvensk: you're right. The bridge was crossed two months ago, and it wasn't pretty. It's difficult to hear you've been asked to either continue keeping your thoughts to yourself or face being asked to move to your mother's basement. Relationships are a two-way street. If he genuinely worked on meeting my sexual needs or accept me for me, I wouldn't find the need to stray. The traditional institution of marriage is only as good as what you are willing to put into the relationship. I am resentful of his unwillingness to be creative or come up with new ideas on his own. We've become roommates as a result, and he seems fine with that. That's not enough for me. A woman in her early 30s needs passion, intimacy, and the ability to be vunerable with someone you love. When I find the courage to move on, I will. Until then, I'll work on me to find inner peace.