I've been on okc for about 2 years. I met my current partner there about 3 weeks after I joined. She's a woman and women rarely message me. So it was funny about how I hooked up with her:
A few days after I joined okc, a 39 year old bi woman from Holland messaged me. She was intrigued that I was older (53 at the time), newly separated from my husband, but open, kinky, and poly. She spent months trying to set me up with this or that woman or couple. None of those people worked out.
But the first person she led me to was my gf. She kept bugging gf to message me and after a week or so, gf did. We clicked like mad, and after a week or so of PMs and IMs, we met. It was practically love at first sight.
I'm in Eastern Mass and there are lots of poly people here. I've also dated about 2 dozen men from okc with varying degrees of success. I've got one young man I meet with about once a month for sex and a few laughs. He's a delight.
Unlike most women, I do message men who interest me. That's how I got my boytoy. I'm still looking for Mr Right tho, a poly guy, either single or already in a relationship, who wants friendship, and sex, and likes to do activities outside of the bedroom, and someone who I would like to introduce to my kids and gf.
Maybe you should move to a city that is more poly friendly?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 38) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years