Thank you all for sharing so openly. I think, if we are all realistic people, we know that everything isn't always flowing smoothly in your world and, in order for the relationship to grow and continue to work, you must be pushed, challenged, tried ... that is how we gain in these instances. That is part of the joys of truly experiencing 'life'. It presents you with the opportunity to build your self and world through trial and error.
I completely understand the current issues with the metamour. You can only be you and genuinely express your intent. As we know, many people (men & women) are just not ready for the self reflection required to do this. They haven't learned how to identify and break down their emotions and how to conquer the reactions they have been taught are the correct ones, in this society, when approaching these alternatives. It could be a beautiful thing if only they would open up to learning and embracing.
Though, my metamour, nor male partner (P), has not voiced it to me, I believe some issues that have arose over the last few weeks in their relationship has been related to me in some sense. I know he reached out to me when I was out of town after they had a disagreement but he did not share details but just sought my presence. Then, she mentioned via text that she had been feeling emotional and insecure about some things this past weekend. Since we transitioned, from a triad to a vee, she and I don't communicate much and I believe, as time goes on, the relationship I have with P is going to suffer because of that but I am willing to continue to give my all to him until that time comes.
I'm glad you guys are working through your emotions and thoughts and I will keep you in my meditations.