Originally Posted by redpepper
I'm confused about how to have integrity in this situation and remain true to myself and my values. I have been asked to have a DADT of sorts with Mono and I feel it brushes up against the value I have of being honest. I figure if I can't talk about what I do, then I should bloody well not do it. But then that brushes up against Mono's need for me to have as much freedom as possible, with some limits. What do I go with here? My need for honesty and openness or his need for me to have as much freedom as he can bare and therefore not tell him stuff.
From my perspective Mono's DADT is more so that he can maintain the tricks that he uses to get himself through things. He's perceptive enough to already know what's going on and how you're feeling he just doesn't want it affirmed verbally from you. (Or I could be talking out of my butt...if I am can you set me straight Mono?)
I don't think it's an either or thing. To me this seems more like a place to test where the boundary is where you can both be comfortable. Maybe there could be a code word that you can come up with when it seems that you're getting close to talking about things that Mono's not able to handle in a healthy fashion.