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Old 12-17-2010, 08:36 AM
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Karma Karma is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wherever I'm needed.
Posts: 404

So I'm trying something new. I've started a journal, someting for me to get all my thoughts out on paper before I lose them as far as this "facing things and changing myself" mess goes.

The main reason Cricket and I split is because we both have things we need to fix about ourselves. I am starting to realize just how much of a mess I truly am... that, and how much I absolutely fail at "coping" with things, or accepting that there are some things in life that I can't change. Coping with/accepting that I can't "fix" this break between me and Cricket is a perfect example... I have to remind myself daily, sometimes hourly, that this isn't about ME, it's about her. There's nothing I can change to make it better - and that realization is driving me mad.

So, I decided - reluctantly - that I should take this time to address certain things about myself, kicked over a few rocks in my psyche, and found some really nasty, ugly things lurking underneath the surface that I'm trying to figure out how to change.

I have two reason for posting the journal here. #1. is to keep myself motivated to actually write the damn thing. #2. is so that I can get some feedback from people on here that I respect. Trust me, I need all the help I can find right now. I'm trying not to lose my mind on several different fronts.

What follows this post is the first entry. I may not post every entry into the journal that I write - I'm not sure yet, I have no idea where this thing is going - but I'm hoping that posting most of the entries here will motivate me to continue writing in it.
This is my family. It may be little, and broken, but it's still good. Yeah, still good.
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