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Old 12-17-2010, 08:36 AM
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Karma Karma is offline
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So I'm trying something new. I've started a journal, someting for me to get all my thoughts out on paper before I lose them as far as this "facing things and changing myself" mess goes.

The main reason Cricket and I split is because we both have things we need to fix about ourselves. I am starting to realize just how much of a mess I truly am... that, and how much I absolutely fail at "coping" with things, or accepting that there are some things in life that I can't change. Coping with/accepting that I can't "fix" this break between me and Cricket is a perfect example... I have to remind myself daily, sometimes hourly, that this isn't about ME, it's about her. There's nothing I can change to make it better - and that realization is driving me mad.

So, I decided - reluctantly - that I should take this time to address certain things about myself, kicked over a few rocks in my psyche, and found some really nasty, ugly things lurking underneath the surface that I'm trying to figure out how to change.

I have two reason for posting the journal here. #1. is to keep myself motivated to actually write the damn thing. #2. is so that I can get some feedback from people on here that I respect. Trust me, I need all the help I can find right now. I'm trying not to lose my mind on several different fronts.

What follows this post is the first entry. I may not post every entry into the journal that I write - I'm not sure yet, I have no idea where this thing is going - but I'm hoping that posting most of the entries here will motivate me to continue writing in it.
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