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Old 12-16-2010, 06:47 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by mirrormelovely View Post
There are however, so many things I find difficult.
1. First of all, how do I help my partner, who I love so much, feel comfortable and less threatened by my desire for this? I don't see myself ever being any different, nor do I feel like I should be different. I am me...
Mi Mirrormelovely

I am probably going to get flamed a bit on this one have one thing already in your favor; you are interested in finding a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. That in itself can alleviate a lot of the competitive issues between men; penis size, physique, staying power and a male territorial sense.

So now you can honestly look at him and tell him you are not needing something better/newer than you already have in him as a man, but are looking and needing something very different...the female body, energy and feminine intimacy. Whether or not people believe or feel a difference between men and women is irrelevant because a lot of guys do; use this to your advantage!

Ask him to think about the pleasure and connection he gets from touching your female body and ask him if he thinks he could achieve that with a man. Some people will say yes and that is valid but lots of men will say no. This might give him a reinforced perspective that you are looking to add a completely different thing to your life and not replace what you already have with him.

Originally Posted by mirrormelovely View Post
2. Can mono/poly (I guess I am somewhat poly?) relationships work if both parties are willing to communicate openly at all times and support each other? (my feeling is yes, which is why I am on here in the first place!!) But HOW?
Mono/poly can work. How smooth and fulfilling it can be depends on a lot of factors.
How open do you want to be? Are you looking for a completely open relationship with respect to many woman or wanting to find a special one?
You've already answered these questions but he will need to have total clarity which means you need to know yourself and what you really want.

What are his social pressures involved; friends, family, background?

Will you be ok if he wants something too?

What are his long term expectations and can poly work for him to achieve those? Can your goals be achieved with him?

I hope some of this helps

Peace and Love

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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