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Old 12-16-2010, 05:36 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Leeds, UK
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First off, welcome to the forum. =] Good to have you here.

"1. First of all, how do I help my partner, who I love so much, feel comfortable and less threatened by my desire for this? I don't see myself ever being any different, nor do I feel like I should be different. I am me..."

- Make it clear that is who you are and you couldn't live any other way. Ask him if he is ok with that and don't stop until he answers yes or no. If he answers yes, hopefully a conversation on it will open up from there. If no, then you have the hard decision of either sticking with him or leaving him to be yourself.

2. Can mono/poly (I guess I am somewhat poly?) relationships work if both parties are willing to communicate openly at all times and support each other? (my feeling is yes, which is why I am on here in the first place!!) But HOW?

- Yes they can. I've seen it with a few people on here. I'm sure they can fill in with better information than I could though.

3. This is the cart ahead of the horse (or however the saying goes, lol...) but how in the sweet world do I meet a woman who would be cool with all of this in the first place!!!!!!!!???????

- You just have to let her come to you. How do you get into any relationship? It'll definitely be harder to find someone who is open to polyamory, but not impossible.

4. Any success stories out there from people who have done this well?

- Sorry, new to poly. Doesn't mean my advice is completely terrible though. I've read a lot of stories from other people and have a lot of common sense.

5. I am not interested in only sex...I am such a "family" person and that would be what I would want this to feel like. I would want that woman who comes in to be not only my lover, but a dear friend to him as well. Is this even reasonable, people, or am I off my rocker, here?

- Definitely possible, but not something that you should rush into. When you find her, you'll eventually have it come out in conversation that you would want that. If she wasn't ok with it or the man you're with now wasn't ok with it, you should just let it be that way. Everyone has their ideal, but sometimes you have to just let it flow in a direction it wants to go.
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