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Old 12-15-2010, 03:20 AM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 117
Default Intriguing ideas

Originally Posted by polychronopolous View Post
Hello ILW2,

Some men need to build a concept, for lack of a better word, of sexuality around their partners in that they feel more comfortable knowing what turns her on, or off, what sends her through the roof, and what just doesn't matter to her. For some it helps to have some tension and expectation going into a sexual situation. It may be that the door feels only partially open to him after a long period where sexual contact was off the table, and he may just need to start to "feel" you more in that sense.

At any rate, he sounds like he does care about you and that is the most important thing. Perhaps if the two of you could establish a more comfortable rapport in regard to sex it might help him relax a bit.

As a side note: I don't know where you two are with expectations of sex, or how much time you have spent discussing it in a suggestive as opposed to factual matter, and I don't mean to suggest. A lack of that kind of interaction. I hope the best for the two of you
This is so interesting and it highlights a dilemma for me; how do I feel safe to put myself out there now?

We have spent time talking about his experiences and our theoretical ones, but have not been suggestive with one another at all. I was wondering if this was a factor, but for now, I think I'm just going to let the cards fall where they may. The funny thing is that I've realized that I'm not attracted to him at all. It dawned on me one day as I was talking to a friend who I am crushing on (and really enjoying the crush) that I was much more attracted to my crush than my bf <shrug>. It just may not be in the cards.

You are absolutely right that we care for each other a great deal, and that's so wonderful.

Thank you!!!
Married for 14 years to an amazing man, "David Webb" on the forum
Discovered that I was poly in January 10,
forging my path together with the best partner I could ever ask for!
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